Les Flâneurs

Memorial Service for Bernice Audrey Vanden Berg

Today was THE DAY of remembrance and celebration of my mother-in-law's life.

3448 Eagle Ridge Court, GR, MI, 2015

The weather, always an uncertainty in winter in Michigan, saw fit to cooperate for travelers coming from both sides of the country to honor and celebrate the memory of my mother-in-law, Bernice Vanden Berg.

Bernie's memorial service was held at 1pm at Beckwith Hills CRC, preceded by visitation at noon and followed by social time with coffee and sweet treats compliments of the French Tarte and the ladies at Beckwith Hills church.

Here is a link to the memorial service. Please note that the service itself does not begin until 30 minutes into the taping. Photos of the service and social hours courtesy of Dick Van Halsema.

At noon family and friends gathered in the lounge of the church to visit and catch up with one another.

The service was conducted by Laurie Ten Have-Chapman. Besides being an ordained minister, Laurie also happened to be one of Bern's nieces and knew what a truly wonderful person she was and most likely still is. Laurie was ably assisted by Stan Sturing, interim pastor at Beckwith Hills.

Granddaughter Rachel Engels read a beautiful essay of loving remembrances of Bern while several other grandchildren read bible passages that Bern had expressly asked to be included in her service. In fact, Bern had meticulously planned her service years in advance and it was simply a matter of following her direction.

granddaughter Melissa Parker

grandson Jonathan Bergman

Pastor Stan Sturing

granddaughter Rachel Engels

Pastor Laurie

granddaughter Mallory Shane

nephew Garrett Ten Have-Chapman

. . . and his beautiful voice

Following the service old friends, church friends and family met together to swap stories of days long gone, of memories of Bern and growing up in Fremont, MI, all the while enjoying sweet treats:

son-in-law Avery Caldwell and daughter-in-law Dorothy Vanden Berg

grandchildren Ben Schaap and Christina MacDonald

Mallory Shane and her mother, Bern's daughter Mary Battjes

granddaughter Melissa Parker and daughter Joyce Caldwell

grandchildren and siblings Rachel Engels and Jonathan Bergman

Christina, Ben, and Joyce (Christina's mother and Ben's aunt)

far left: niece Brenda Friedman and Mary Battjes

granddaughter Naomi Bergman, Dorothy Vanden Berg, nephews Scott Galloway and Clark Van Halsema

niece Mieke Van Halsema (center)

One very special moment occurred when the former Fremonters (Fremont, MI) came together for a once-in-a-lifetime photo.

These "kids" lived in the same neighborhood, played together, schooled together, and basically grew up together. Those defining years have held them together no matter how distant they might have become geographically. They shared each other's homes and parents, now all gone; parents who were good and true friends and, if the stories handed down to me are in any way accurate, the very best of neighbors.

the Fremont contingent

John Deur, Garth Deur, Ruth (Okkema) Bratt, Jonell (Deur) Pettinga, Joyce (VandenBerg) Caldwell, Ross Pettinga, and Susie VandenBerg

Fred Pettinga and Joyce Caldwell

the grandchildren: Mallory Shane, Christina MacDonald, Melissa Parker, Rachel Engels, Ben Schaap and Jonathan Bergman

After the social hour and everyone dispersed, the family came over to our condo for a short visit, which entailed more story swapping of course.

A little after 5pm the family returned to the church for pizza supper (from Licari's).

photo compliments of Carl Bergman

A grand day celebrating the life of a truly wonderful woman. . .

Gone from My Sight

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and the sky come to mingle with each other. Then someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!"

"Gone where?"

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear the load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

And just at the moment when someone at my side says: "There she is gone!" There are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout:

"Here she comes!"

And that is dying. . .

In memory of Bernice Audrey Vanden Berg and Ed Evans. Attributed to Henry Van Dyke.

Happy Birthday Uncle Frank

From your sister, who loved you so very much:

Bernice Audrey Van Halsema Vanden Berg

Susie and I left Rhode Island in 2015 and moved to Grand Rapids because we could and because we wanted to help her mom remain as independent as possible and less dependent as possible on strangers. In the intervening nine years we've met some truly wonderful folk and had some grand experiences all the while spending time with one of the nicest people I have ever known.

It's really as simple as that. Or maybe it's not.

For those who knew her I can't really add anything more than what you already learned from your own experience.

And for those who didn't know her, well you missed out knowing one fine human being.

To learn more you can't do better than her obituary.

For a slide show of images from her life:

Her graveside service from 20 November 2024, performed by Laurie Ten Have-Chapman at Woodlawn Cemetery, close to the 17th green of Indian Trails Golf Course: